I know I’m 100 purr-cent gorgeous, the human tells me that every day. If moi was a human I’d be a star with moi cat-risma and singing voice.
The other day the human left a book called “The French Cat” out, Zut alors, I can’t quite believe she would want to look at another cat apart from moi but thought it might have a few tips for impressing the ladies so I settled down for a good read. There is some serious competition out there – but from what I can tell, none of them live anywhere near moi so I’m still Top Cat round here. I wouldn’t mind meeting some of the cute kitties I saw though… oh la la la la.
After all the hard work I thought I’d go and have a snooze – I couldn’t decide whether to go to the Hen Hotel or the metal Hammock the human calls wheelbarrow. I tried ‘em both but was disturbed by my fans so retired to the basket boudoir.
Thought it might be nice to update my look. I’ve always fancied a moustache and I remembered the big human with the deep voice had been working on the tractor and left some stuff lying around that might be useful. It took me a while but then I found it, a tray of black stuff – purr-fect for my new look.
I looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw, Sacré Bleu, I’m feline fine, it gives moi a little “je ne sais quoi”. The humans laughed at me though when they saw me and then chased me and rubbed it off – the fools, they know nothing about style.
Anyway, I forgave the humans for getting rid of my moustache – they’re probably right, moi is gorgeous enough without any further enhancement. I thought I’d give them a hand with renovating this old shack they live in. Moi tried to trip the big male one up a few times, have to say he has no sense of humour but the female one laughed, she always appreciates my efforts, I quite like her.
Spent the rest of the day letting the stupid dogs groom me or making them bark by running past them, they’ll never catch me, non non non, way too slow, and did some time sitting on the wall watching the world go by…
After all that effort it was time for bed. Moi refuses to go to my room unless the humans give moi treats. I sit near the back door, the human calls moi and I look at her, then she gets the treats out and shakes them about, it does make moi laugh. I make her wait as long as I can then I let her carry moi to my room. I have to share with Ginger Roger who I detest. I chase him about all night long. Also Lou Lou and Shadow sleep in the room with us, they’re alright, they know their placea and they’re pretty, not like Hank Marvin (He’s Always Starvin’) he’s only got one eye and he’s a bit scraggy. Sometimes the old cat Winston comes in, he’s weird, but big so moi keeps out of his way, don’t want moi looks being ruined by that old stinker.
Moi (AKA‘Enry Cooper)
More photos of Moi: on the tractor
Moi looking after Lou Lou at night – I am her hero:
Moi checking out the hen hotel for a snooze: