Bon weekend from the middle of nowhere France

Bonjour

Hope you had a good week.

The unseasonably warm weather is playing havoc with my head in the form of spiders. Really giant spiders. I’m not a fan of them, it’s my dad’s fault. He would run a mile if he saw one, screaming for my mum to come and deal with it. He was a master bridge player and I remember one time, he stayed in a posh hotel, somewhere in Scotland where he was to play a bridge tournament the next day. He was getting ready for bed when he spotted a spider, not even a big one. In his underpants he fled the room. Security were called, they searched in vain, the spider was nowhere to be seen. My dad swears he stayed awake all night with the light on, scanning the room, fully dressed by now, ready to flee again. He still won his bridge match though.

Anyway, as a result of his fear, I am terrified of spiders even though I know it is ridiculous. We don’t, as far as I know, get poisonous spiders in the north of France but mon Dieu, this year they are enormous. I’ve never seen them this big before. Mark, my husband, is not afraid at all, he picks them up and doesn’t care if they run up his arms before taking them out to safety in the garden. I have taken to scanning a room before I enter, some of the spiders are almost as big as the palm of my hand so you can’t really miss them. If anyone has any tips about putting them off coming into the house I’d love to know. I’ve tried chestnuts – the spiders crawl over them. I bought one of those machines that you plug in and is supposed to make them run away, covered with a web within a week!

Meanwhile the other animals in my life are thriving. My four cats have been joined by a newbie – Little Boy. He is profoundly death and very nervous. I feed him daily and for the first time this week, after months of trying to win him round, he called out for me when I went out the garden. I’m desperate to get him to trust me before winter comes so I can make sure he has somewhere warm to hide out. I put little houses on the terrace for the cats who don’t come in the house. My neighbour Jean-Claude tuts and shakes his head every time the word “hiver” (winter) is mentioned. He is convinced this year we are in for a Game of Thrones style winter scenario, lots of snow and seriously cold though hopefully no blue-eyed zombies!