Estate agents, real estate agents, immobiliers – they all speak their own language – that of selling houses!
We take a tongue-in-cheek look at the French estate agent terms used for selling houses in France to expats with a dream house in mind…
Bargain – Falling to bits
Character – Very old and falling to bits
Small – not enough room for two people to live in comfortably – would suit chickens…
Isolated – no shops, no neighbours and no sign of life for miles
Modern – it’s a concrete box but it has water and electricity
Renovated – There is a flushing toilet and a light
Partly renovated – the flushing toilet is in the kitchen
Needs renovation – there is no toilet, no kitchen, no water and no electricity
Great transport links – Motorway at bottom of garden
Renovated by delightful expats – They didn’t have a clue what they were doing but they’re really nice people so hopefully you’ll like them and buy it and not worry about the electric wires hanging out of the wall
Extended – the out buildings have been joined to the main house by a sheet of plastic roofing
Outbuildings – structures near the house that are falling to bits, inhabited by the local cats and need fumigating
City pad – there is a bar below that plays music until the early hours of the morning. People use your door way as a loo
Suitable for holiday home – not fit for human habitation but you can camp there in the summer
Rural – cows at the bottom of the garden (summer smells/flies), the hum of the milking shed will either soothe or drive you insane
Easy to maintain garden – Weed killer has been applied to gravel chippings
Small garden – window box
Mature garden – forest attached complete with wild animals that will destroy any work you do and hunters chasing after them will finish the job
Big garden – you need a gardener, ride on mower, thousands of tools and it will take over your life
Charming – previous occupants put in a nice gazebo – don’t expect a bathroom though
Substantial – Will cost a fortune to make all the rooms habitable
Buying your dream home in France – useful tips and expert advice
How to search for a property in France
