When to use Tu or Vous in French

When it comes to learning French, one of the questions that comes up over and over is – how do you know whether to say tu, or vous?

Although tu and vous both mean you – they’re to be used in different situations.

Tu – is for informal situations – like when you’re talking to friends or family – but not all family! For instance when talking to your in-laws it’s common to use vous.

If you use ‘tu’ in the wrong circumstances – it can easily be taken as you being a bit disrespectful.

Use ‘vous’ instead of ‘tu’ and that too can seem wrong – maybe unfriendly.

Vouvoyer: To talk using ‘vous’ is called to vouvoyer in French. It’s for when you’re having a formal conversation, or talking to people you don’t know, teachers, older people or those in authority.

Tutoyer: Talk using ‘tu’ is tutoyer in French. If you met someone for the first time and used ‘vous’ you can move onto ‘tu’ infact you can even suggest ‘shall we tutoyer’ if you’re not sure!

Tu is for friends, family (except occasionally when talking to elders, some families practice vous), when you’re talking to children, and colleagues.

So how do you know which to use?

It’s always best to play it safe if you’re not sure and use ‘vous’. The person you’re talking to can always say ‘let’s tutoyer, let’s use tu’ (Tu peux me tutoyer ! Tutoie-moi !) Or you can ask them – shall we use tu/Can I say tu to you? (On se tutoie ? Je peux te tutoyer ?)

You shouldn’t mix tu and vous in the same sentence. So for instance if you ask someone for help, and use the expression for please, keep to informal or formal.

Excuse-moi, tu peux m’aider, s’il te plaît ?”

Excusez-moi, vous pouvez m’aider, s’il vous plaît ?

Et toi?

And, just for a little frisson of complication – there’s also ‘toi’! We French are famous for our grammar rules and they can seem complex, but once you know how it all works, everything slots into place.

Take ‘toi’ – which also means you. Like ‘tu’ but in some circumstances we use ‘toi’. Tu is used as a direct subject for instance ‘comment-vas-tu’ – how are you.

Toi is indirect, and follows a verb or preposition for instance with, of or for. For example ‘je voyage avec toi’ (I am travelling with you). Or commonly when you ask someone how they are they might say ‘je vais bien. Et toi?’

Unlike ‘tu’ and ‘vous’, ‘tu’ and ‘toi’ can appear in the same sentence: Moi, je suis française et toi, tu es Anglais. Me, I am French and you, you are English. In French you use ‘moi’ et ‘toi’ to emphasise the subject – but it’s not mandatory.

It can take a little practice to get it right, but practice makes perfect right?!